What's in a Baseball Name

    For many years, Western Mongolia has been #1 on my wish to visit list...the Altai Mountains, rivers, streams, lakes, huge fish...Olgii, Ulaangom, the massive wide open spaces in between...
    Maybe it'll never happen. Maybe it's too far. Maybe I'm getting too old? But...

    It's World Series time again. And most important and satisfying...the Yankees aren't in it. And also in my wanderinghalfjew mind...Coco Crisp and Milton Bradley on the 2003 Cleveland Indians squad...and earlier MLB players' nicknames and/or [real] names...

Bow Wow Arft, Big Train Asbell, Foots Barfoot, Barney Barnicle, [Matt] Batts, Bananas Benes, Hill Billy Bildilli, Bunny Brief, Gob Buckeye, Slug Burns, Oyster Burns, [Harry] Cheek, Chilly Chelini, [Harry] Chozen, Sniffy Clay, Creepy Crespi, Dingle Croucher, Cooch Cuccinello, Cookie Cuccurullo, Con Daily, Yo-Yo Davalillo, Stinky [Harry] Davis, Snake Deal, Buddy Dear, Dummy Deegan, [John] DeMerit, [Pedro] Dibut, Ugly [John] Dickshot, Monkey Foreman, Whiz Gee, Splinter Gerkin, Pebbly Jack Glasscock, Holy Good, Turkey Gross, Bushy Hart, Chicken Hawks, Pig [Henry] House, Flip Flap Jones, Available Jones, Puddin' Head Jones, Witty [Michael] Jordan, Curly Jungels, Smoke Justis, Wagon Tongue Keister, Happy Kibble, Old Folks Kinder, Noisy Kling, [Elmer] Klumpp, [Clyde] Kluttz, Rubber Krapp, Candy LaChance, Pete LaCock (Peter Marshall's son), Porky Lade, [Peter] Lapan, Buddy Lively (8-13 in the Majors), Smokey Lotz (0-3 overall...smokey too much?), Slim Love, Con Lucid, [Guido] Martini, Buster McCrabb, Buzz McWeeney, Mickey Micelotta (batted .000 in 17 games...didn't hit alotta?), [Orval] Overall, [Clarence] Pickup, Squiz Pillion, Pop Prim, Pooch Puccinelli, Pid Purdy, Mutt Riddle, Roxy Roach, [Edwin] Rommel, Huck Sawyer, Skeeter Scalzi, Cracker Schalk, Biff Schlitzer, [Albert] Schweitzer, Hank Shanks, [Urban] Shocker, Harry Spies, Tuck Stainback, Rocks Start, Lumbago Stimmel, Sponge Storie, Inky Strange, Warhorse [Seymour] Studley, [Guy] Sturdy, Satan Stutz, [Anthony] Suck (batted .156 in 58 games...um, not good), Ducky Swann, Pop Swett (.193 in 37 games), Buck Thrasher, [Austin Ben] Tincup, Dizzy Trout, Fire Trucks, Dixie [R.T.] Upright, Gummy Wall, Piggy Ward, Stormy Weatherly, Legs Weik, Booger Welch, Judge Works, Yam Yaryan, Yank Yerkes, Zip Zabel, Goober Zuber...

Revisiting the Renaming of Afghanistan

    As far as Mayan ruins go, can anything top Caracol? Chichen Itza (tourist trap...with no climbing of structures allowed), Tikal (amazing to be sure...and defeated militarily by Caracol), Coba (glorious, and easy to get to), and many other sites...but none of them is better than Caracol.

    Then, there's Afghanistan. Maybe we should call it...
1. Halfghanistan (It beats a whole ghanistan.)
2. Takeabathistan...Youstinkistan
3. Laughghanistan (home of the Taliban Comedy Club and Kandahar Sharia Oyster Bar)
4. Pickuptruckistan
5. Youcantduckistan
6. Getadeepdarktanistan
7. Oopsghanistan...Boomghanistan
8. Stuckinthesandistan
9. Fuckedupplan-ostan
10. Afterghanistan (Pakistan, Waziristan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan...too many Stans, man)
11. Eatmyghanistan
12. Upmyghanistan
    Maybe we should leaveitaloneistan. Or we can have our own brand of Britghanistan or Sovietghanistan?

A Few Nicer Sides of Mexico & etc.

El Cuyo and Celestun are the opposite of Juarez and other torn areas of Northern Mexico. The beaches are blinding white sand perfection. In El Cuyo, isolation is almost complete. (And, beer is under $1.)

We interrupt the above story above, for a poem from our sponsor:

   "Even zo zee Jewish holydays have passed for ziss year, ziss po-em I shtill wrote zo you can read, okay?"

             Happy Jew Year

I fear my least favorite day of the year is here.

   Nearest the pulpit sits...the least fit fatshit hypocrite.
Reflecting his atoning, his bulging white baloney.

I lika the Torah, the fauna, the floora.
Jaffa, Beersheba, Haifa, Tel Aviva.

        Just leave me a loan, uh,
On Yom Kippa, Rosh Hashanah.

A menorah, gefilte fisha. A mitzvah, with chutzpah.
      My mezzuzzah is missing. Somewhere in Iowa.

Avarice is cadaverous.
My sukkah is a plethora of pork.
My yamaka is a stinky baseball cap.
Late to pontificate, I thank jew very little.